Aaron and Maddie talk about their journey of finding church community in the midst of a college hockey career. They share values you should look for in a church community.
LINKS
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TRANSCRIPT
INTRO
This is the BeLED Family Podcast.
MADDIE
We went in the summertime and the doors to the church were left wide open the entire service which you heard the noises on the street and just it was so, this is just real life.
DANIEL
Welcome to the BeLED Family Podcast. I hope that your day is treating you well no matter where you are. In this episode, we are going to be talking about church community with Aaron and Maddie. Now, Aaron and Maddie have been married since 2022, not very long ago. Aaron currently plays Division 1 hockey. They are both active in their church. It took some time finding a good church home, and that's what we're going to talk about, while Aaron plays hockey in an urban community. Welcome both to Aaron and Maddie. To the BeLED Family Podcast. Glad to have you a part of this conversation. Both as entrusted disciples of Jesus. Now, you guys have talked about how important church community is to both of you, but let's start with let's start with this. What was your understanding of church community growing up?
AARON
Yeah. Well, yeah. First of all, thanks for having us, Daniel. It's always fun to be on here with you. And, we're just happy to be here. But for me, growing up, church community…I grew up in the AFLC. My family and I went to Rose Free Lutheran in Roseau, Minnesota. So we went there and, and I would say, like my understanding, you know, obviously, I was a young kid, when I went to Rose, and so I didn't, I didn't know a lot. And, you know, my, my idea of, of church community just personally was that, you know, you go to church on, on Sunday morning. You know, you go and you stay for ten minutes after and talk, and then you go home and kind of go about your week and, and there's various reasons of why that was maybe my understanding of it, but, at least growing up, that was, that was what I thought it was.
DANIEL
Yeah. So how about you, Maddie?
MADDIE
Yeah. Similarly, the extent of just going to church on Sunday was really it. I think that growing up, definitely, like, my idea of an act of community with the church was more all revolving around youth group. And so being a part of that every week, doing the activities and opportunities that would come across in that realm. And that was, that was really it. I didn't really know much of what church community looked like in depth on a Sunday. And throughout every single day after that.
DANIEL
Now, would both of you admit, though, that I think you started to touch on that point, Aaron, that part of maybe the understanding was just based on age, and maturity levels. Right? You mean you're what both of you described was, we just went. That's what we did. It’s what we do.
AARON
Yep, yeah, that's exactly it. And I think, like, probably, you know, different families will have different, you know, approaches to, to what they may think is, is church community. And we'll lead you in that way. And, you know, I think that's why many people have different, you know, views on it. But I also got to shout out Kurt Osweiler, hopefully, hopefully he listens to this. Kurt, you're the best for youth groups. And I mean we always just open up the Bible and he was great for us. I got to mention that.
DANIEL
We had to drop that in there. I’m sure Kurt will appreciate that. When you think about just doing church and its people like Kurt out there, dedicated youth workers who are going to just pour into you at some point for both of you. That understanding of just doing church or just going to church or just it's part of part of the routine, nothing wrong with that. That by any means, when did it for both of you start moving from a doing church into okay, wait a minute. God has called us to be church. God has called us to something more than just attending a service, more than just attending a youth group, more than just in some ways, just reading a Bible. Where did it change for you guys?
AARON
Yeah, I mean, for me, it was it was when I first started reading the Bible and just seeing, like, you know, you look at, the communities that that were formed, you know, in the book of Acts and, in the one thing that was, was very central that, that I saw was just the love and, and commitment that the people had to one another. And then contrasting that with my, my upbringing, in a sense, and just my idea of church was, was not that. It was more of what you mention of church on Sunday and then kind of everyone going about their, their weeks and then, you know, we come back on Sunday and, and that was kind of it. But once I started reading the Bible and seeing, you know, the themes of just love between church members and, and unity, that's when it really began to change. And I started to see the…how essential it is to really be committed to a group of people, you know, not just on Sunday, but every day of the week.
DANIEL
So to that reading that, knowing that it's about loving and being committed, that didn't mean necessarily that things at church changed, but it was your perception.
AARON
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And obviously you yeah. Like different churches are going to have different, you know, set ups for how they're going to meet and be intentional about that, that stuff. But I think yeah, I mean, it starts with, you know, hopefully good teaching to enforce that. And really emphasize that for, for the members to be able to grab a hold of that vision of, of this is, you know, this is what we're about. We're committed to one another. And I think out of that, and just healthy church life will follow.
DANIEL
Knowing what you know now about church community looking back at when you guys are growing up at your churches. How do you view that time? Do you view it differently? Do you see it differently? Do you? Is it more like, oh, oh, that's the adults that did this, or the other students or my friends who did that? That's more of what church, maybe church was happening more than you realized it was. So looking back at when you were growing up, do you see it differently now?
MADDIE
Yeah, I, I definitely do, because once you experience all that it can be, you just you can so clearly see all the times that it wasn't what it could be. And so it, yeah, that, like, we went back to the church that I went to for most of my childhood. Just the other weekend. And we walked away and we're like, man, it's just different. And you kind of mourn like that, that and maybe because it was just we were attending that Sunday or whatever it is, but all my memories are associated with what it was like during my childhood. Yeah, you definitely miss the connection and the belonging of what church really is now that we've tasted and experienced all that, all that it is with where we're at now.
DANIEL
So what would you say to, if…Maybe your home church is listening? I mean, this is not a ‘you've done this wrong.’ Okay? That's not what the point is, but what is the encouragement that you could offer that you would say to your home churches, you know, if you could go back in time and say, hey, home church if you this or even to those churches today who are kind of stuck in that just mode of doing. I think a lot of churches are stuck in the mode of just doing church. What encouragement would you two offer to those churches?
AARON
Yeah, I would say it like from, from my perspective and like you are kind of alluding to is that we may have, you know, just as young young kids missed a lot of what was really going on. And maybe there is a lot of healthy patterns. But for me now, I, I kind of wish that, you know, there would just be maybe, maybe like, from the, from leadership calling, calling some, some folks in like, like, you know, the leadership should be very involved in their, in their congregants. And so like if, if those, if those leaders can really, you know, like, you know, if someone's maybe just, you know, kind of attending and maybe really getting uncomfortable and really calling them in because ultimately like, yeah, that's I mean, you need a shepherd of the flock and you need to to reel some, some sheep in and really, you know, it's going to be uncomfortable. But that's something that I think would be valuable for, for. Yeah.
DANIEL
I speak very highly of intergenerational church. And to me, that's what you're describing, Aaron. Is sometimes the intergenerational church is understanding all the generations and involving everybody. And it's not always, doesn't always look perfect. It looks messy at times. So it's really important
MADDIE
There, there is attending, connecting and serving that is so vital to being a part of a church. And I remember that growing up. But I wish I would have known why. And I think the answer to why to fulfill those callings is all in how Jesus describes what church really is.
DANIEL
And what would you say that is? What would you say it is that Jesus describes church to be?
AARON
I would say…I mean, it's his, primarily his body. You know, it's destroy this temple and in three days I'll raise it up. And he's speaking of his body of the believers. And so, like, from a very broad view, that's what it is. And then obviously, there's going to be local congregations of those, those believers who get together. And there's been very clear guidelines of how, you know, the main things are supposed to function, you know, in Timothy and Titus and all the epistles, but. So I think, yeah, I mean, it's it's really like the church is God's plan for the world, you know, and so the unity, actually, Francis Chan just wrote a book called “Unity” that I've, I read and I really liked what he was saying because he's, he's really emphasizing that, I think it's in Jesus's prayer in John 17 when he's, he's talking about, you know, us being one and Jesus being one with us and, us being one with one another. And this is how the world will know that the Father sent Jesus, I think is what it says. And it's like that's, man, it's just that, that commitment and and I guess like presently now in our church, like one thing that that I, I'm kind of seeking to do is really spend even more time like outside of, you know, Sunday and Wednesday even, of like really getting together. And this is something that I want to do, I haven't done yet, but really getting together and, and trying to do life together because I think like I said, like that, that commitment and just love that we share. Yeah, I just really believe that it gets God's plan to, you know, and then we go out and, and, you know, share with the world.
DANIEL
I love what you said, Maddie. You know, attending, connecting, serving. A lot of people just stop at attending. They don't think about that connecting. They don't think about that serving. That's what you're talking about, Aaron. How do we, as members of this congregation that we're part of, let's take it beyond. The service is one aspect of a church body. It's the one point where everyone's together, but it's what's happening outside that. So it's a beautiful… Let's, so let's talk about your current church community. You know, as you guys were looking as a hockey player that, you know, right now, you know that you're in one spot. How did you guys find the current church community that you're in, what was important? What were some of the things that were important to you? Was it easy? Was it difficult? What were some of the things that you weren't willing to compromise as he sought out communities looking for this? Can you talk about your current church?
AARON
Yeah, I can maybe talk about that, because I was. When I…so when Maddie and I got married in 2022, a couple of years ago, I was like. And I at that point knew, like, how important church community was. And so, I was very intentional about looking, you know, for different churches. And, honestly, the way that I found it, I was just, I was looking up churches in the area online. And I came across a church called Cities Church, and it was one of the first churches I looked at and I just started reading through like their, you know, what we believe and you know, their vision and stuff like that online, and it all looked really, really great. And so I attended, and we attended together and then, yeah, I mean, I just and I really liked what I heard and I saw that online that they, you know, committed to just preaching the Bible and, and that was, you know, an indispensable for me and just a church that's faithful to preaching the Word. And, and so, yeah, we kept going and then, shortly after, I think maybe two services. Three services. We…
DANIEL
Wait, did you guys start going together the first time?
AARON
So this was when we were married. Now at this point, is that right? Or it was right before.
MADDIE
It was, I think it was right after we got married, because I remember getting home from our honeymoon and you were out in the kitchen looking up churches. And I remember being like, should we, like, figure out this, like marriage, and, like, living together thing first, like. So actually, the first time that Aaron ever attended, you went alone. I stayed back because I was like, we had a really hard first year and part of the difficulty of it was I knew we weren't going to be there for more than two years. And so in my mind, I'm like, why?
DANIEL
Why? Why be committed, right?
MADDIE
Yeah. Yes. And I wanted to, like, protect, because I feel feelings big. And so I'm like, if I have all these, like, new relationships come into my life, I don't want to have to say goodbye to those and leave. And what can happen in two years. And so I just remember, I mean, you spent so much time looking into this church before you went, and all I really recall as being like, whoa. And let me know what you think of it, I guess. Like, and you just had gone alone, but it was right after we got married. To answer your question.
DANIEL
And so then, so, Aaron goes alone. When did you join him?
MADDIE
When he came back right after that Sunday. And was like we’re…
DANIEL
That first Sunday?
MADDIE
going again next week you got come try this out.
DANIEL
You were sold right away.
MADDIE
Yes.
DANIEL
Yeah.
MADDIE
And I remember being like, what songs did they sing because Aaron grew up singing hymns. Yeah. And I didn't know what a hymn was when we met, like, at all. And so I remember…I, well, oh man, it was a little bit of pride there, but going to like one of our first church services together when we were dating and no one pulled out a hymn book because everyone knew the hymn. And I don't think the lyrics are everywhere.
DANIEL
You were like sitting.
MADDIE
There like mom. Like, I didn't.
AARON
Know, I just had rows.
MADDIE
I have, I think so, that are in Fargo, I'm not sure. And so I remember being like, we had two very different, just types of churches growing up like ours was so much bigger: lights, music like that was on the radio we were singing. And so I was like a little worried about that right away. Not. And like I said, there wasn't a knowledge of what really church was. And so that's all that I could think of but.
DANIEL
So why did you? Okay so, I want to get there. Why did you Aaron, when you came back this was a church were going, what? why? Why did you come back that first Sunday and go this is where we're going?
AARON
For me, I mean, like, so I, I walk in and like I immediately like saw like the just the fellowship that the people had together and I loved that. And you know, through the service I was, I was hearing the pastor he’s just preaching the Word and I, I loved that. And then and then like, yeah, just like kind of everything about it kind of just a good like it was a good feeling like we're going to go back to that place.
DANIEL
Okay. So you go, Maddie, was it the next time?
MADDIE
I think so.
DANIEL
Or the next time after that maybe. Yeah. So what was your experience like the first time that you went.
MADDIE
It, honestly, it, like I said, with there being like a lack of awareness on my part, then really what experiencing church was, I felt like it met in the middle for what Aaron grew up with and what I grew up with. And so I liked that right away. But like, seconding what Aaron said, the fellowship was so hard to miss.
DANIEL
The community.
MADDIE
Yeah, you saw it right away. And I, I just remember that part, like, we went in the summertime and the doors to the church were left wide open. The entire service, which you heard the noises on the streets and just. It was. So this is just real life.
AARON
Yeah.
MADDIE
And we're just real people here connecting and, like, growing with each other. And it was. That was so hard to miss too. That was something different. It was yeah.
DANIEL
One of the number one things when I talk to people, what do they look for in a church? Number one thing that people say is community relationship, you know, style, you know, hymns, music, big lights, no big lights. I've been to your church in Roseau, Aaron.
AARON
No big lights.
DANIEL
No, they got big lights. They just don't do much. But just shine right? Yeah. When it boils down to it, that's elements of it. But really what people really get, but the Lord goes, he's like, it's the community, it's the people. I mean, that old analogy, you know, you do the things with your fingers like, here's the steeple here, but inside are all the people, right? That's what community is all about. And that seems to that that's what's kept you guys at your church. Yeah. Is that. Yeah.
AARON
Absolutely. That's that's the key I think like like I was saying, just coming to the understanding of what, what church is, you know, obviously there's there's different things that you might, you might wish was one way or a different way, but but ultimately just like being committed to a group of people, you know, as long as you're in that area, that's that's what we both want. So that's what we're going to do.
DANIEL
So let's talk about community now, Aaron, is your hockey schedule, It keeps you pretty busy. Obviously during the summer you're not as busy, but during the year you can or even during the summer you've got training, different things like that. It keeps you busy. How has your hockey schedule brought challenges? Has it brought challenges to maintaining community with your church?
AARON
Yeah. So one thing that's nice that the University of Minnesota is, we fly charter. So we have our own, you know, private plane, just our team on the plane. And so our schedule normally in the season in the thick of it is on, you know, if it's a road series we'll fly out on Thursday morning, play Friday, Saturday and then right after the game Saturday we fly back and I'm, I'm in bed by, you know, midnight, 1:00 am or something. And then I'm able to go to church the next Sunday so it doesn't interfere. You know, occasionally we'd have a Sunday game and then I would miss. But for the most part, we're always able to go. So as far as community goes, it's pretty, you know, accommodating.
DANIEL
How about for you Maddie with Aaron being gone those three days. You know, every, almost every other weekend. How has that brought challenges for you?
MADDIE
Well, I think as far as community goes, Aaron is, he's my encourager with it. And he leads us in that truthfully. So when he's gone, I kind of then veer to be my homebody-self and, you know, kind of miss some opportunities of connecting with community. And I would say that's really the only way that it hinders. Would you agree?
DANIEL
Yeah. But now, Aaron, as you know, you talked about a moment ago wanting to build more of a community, more of, or do some things outside of the Sunday service. Is that, I mean, with the hockey schedule, the way you have, that's probably going to it won't be challenging. It's just a little bit of juggling to figure that out. Right. To kind of.
AARON
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think it really comes down to like, yeah, I mean, whoever's listening, like the biggest thing to making all this happen is your priorities in life. Yeah, right. It's really like, what am I you know, it's the big questions in life. What do I want to do in this life? What matters. And obviously, if you're a Christian, it's following Jesus. And what does he say? He wants us to be involved with our community. And so if your priorities are your hobbies more than being involved in the church, that's not it. And if your priorities are your worth more than being involved in your church, that's still not it. And there's so many things down the line. And like obviously my, you know, I'm a Division 1 athlete with school and with hockey and married, but right, right after being married is like our church, like we're being involved in. And it's unfortunate that some Sundays we have to or I have to miss because of hockey. But that's why church isn't just on Sunday. You know, it's, I would love to be there every time to worship together. But I want to be involved with my church at all points and just really being committed to this group of people. So like, it really comes down to priorities. And, and there's really no excuses. So that's how I view it. Yeah.
MADDIE
And this is just like I said, Aaron has led me so much. And that's just it's all God's grace. The way that he has walked this path and has brought me along with it. But I see him every single week since we've been down here in the cities prioritizing his discipleship group, which, I mean, that's church too. You have a group of 4 or 5 guys. Every single week. They all play hockey and they're all over the place. They have different schedules, they have school as well as in relationships. And I watch you guys every single week. At least your leadership in that, in initiating, getting together and finding time. And that's just a priority. You have every reason and every excuse, every single week to not have time for it. But that really is the church, too. And that's just been like so, so encouraging and so insightful.
AARON
Yeah. And in the same way Maddie's, Maddie's, you know, begun to do the same thing with discipling some women.
DANIEL
Wonderful.
AARON
And and for. Yeah, I mean, if you know my story, I can’t remember in the last podcast we did together how much I talked about Jeremy Larson. But Jeremy has been super impactful in my life. Just, you know, when I went to Fargo, I was like, I, I just, I knew I wanted to follow Jesus. I didn't know how. And so I asked Jeremy if we can start meeting together and out of that's kind of been born just like that. Like what kind of discipleship and doing life together looks like. And that's something that, you know, in our churches, you know, hopefully we can like, establish that where it's like second nature to be meeting with your church, like, throughout the week and, and it can look like various things. It can be bigger groups or smaller, but really being committed to each other I think is just so important.
DANIEL
I think one thing I've appreciated about you, Aaron, over the number of years I've known you is that you're a believer who follows Jesus, period. That’s it.
AARON
That's it.
DANIEL
And then, oh, I got this hockey thing on the side. And just what you said, Maddie, I know that your marriage is the very same thing. We're a married couple that God brought us together. We're believers, and we're going to follow the Lord, period. Yeah. We don't know where that's going to take us. But when you're following the Lord, it doesn't matter. Right? Exactly where the Lord takes. Okay, so thinking about the future, a couple more questions for you as we wrap up. You know, as the Lord leads you two into the future, not knowing where hockey could or might take you. Right. Thinking about children one day and what are some of those things that you want to impress? Is it all these things about church community? How important it is to follow the Lord? Home discipleship, you know, raising children to go in the way that they should, you know, the ways of the Lord? Right? Thinking about that, what are some of the things that you want to impress on your children one day when the Lord blesses you guys?
AARON
Yeah. I mean, I think the, the main thing is like, you know, if you're if you're just just living it out, like, you know, as Christians, we should just have, you know, integrity of life and living it out in front of your kids and setting an example. And then obviously you're going to have, you know, your family priorities. And so, I don't think much will change. It's just even better being able to bring, you know, another or maybe more along, you know, obviously that's going to change. You know, things will get hectic at times. But again, it's just your priorities. And what are you going to make work, you know based on what's important to you. So that's the biggest thing for me. And there'll be different ways that that will look throughout time. But that's what I think.
DANIEL
What encouragement do you guys have for people who maybe they're listening to this think, oh man, I don't have that kind of community. I don't have that. I am struggling. You know, maybe it exists in the church that they're attending. Maybe they don't want to say it, but maybe they need to consider finding a church that has more of a community aspect than that, but that's not for us to talk about. But what encouragement would you have for those people looking for community?
MADDIE
It's there, and you might have to be part of initiating it or creating it, because I know that right when we got married, I just that wasn't my priority was finding community because I was like, okay, who's my age who's done with school, who, at the time I was working, like a full time. I mean, I had a career at that point in doing something and, and married and whose husband is gone like half like I'm like, there's no community out there that would even be able to, like, sympathize with that or understand or whatever it was. And so I, like, mourn for that girl that whole first year, because she was so scared of it, when now I've tasted it and I've seen it and I have it, and situations didn't change. I'm still very similarly in that same place, but there's so much joy from those relationships and so much fruit that comes from them. So just like encouragement to not look at your situation as much as to just seek it, to seek it out. And like Aaron pointed out, like those discipleship groups had to be formed. It wasn't like something that was like, join this or, you know, something super organized. And all of a sudden, church now happens in our house throughout all the weeks and I think that's what I had to say.
AARON
Yeah. That's great.
DANIEL
Yeah. Beautifully said. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. I didn't say anything more. Aaron and I we're like, we're just listening in and going, yeah, that sounds, that sounds fantastic. Last question for you both, you know, at BeLED Family our desire is to glorify God in all that we do. How has the Lord been glorified in your seeking of church community in the way that you do community in your church?
AARON
Yeah, I just, yeah, it comes down to like, we just have a desire to to follow Jesus and, you know, we're going to grow and mature throughout life and come to, you know, different understanding understandings and, you know, deeper understanding of things. But at this point, it's just we understand and have seen that being involved with the local church is so important. And we're going to keep going after that. And it's not going to change because that's, it's, it's beautiful. And, and I think there's going to be even more to come. And I just look forward to seeing what God has planned for that.
MADDIE
Say yeah. And like we're not parents yet, but I can only imagine what it's like for a parent when they see their children connecting and getting along and how sweet that is. And so I just can't imagine then how glorifying it is in God's eyes to see his children connecting and getting along and doing life with each other. I just, I mean, he delights in that. He loves that. And you watch how everything else in the world becomes strangely dim when you put the first things first. And that is community and his people. And we’re rewarded with that. Like we're filled with that. And so it's it's not a tiresome chore or as much of a hassle as we make it out to be. It really is fulfilling and a really good thing that he loves and wants for us.
DANIEL
Beautifully said. Number one, look at you quoting hymns going on. And then two, I can get converted.
MADDIE
I'm pretty sure there's a modern version of that hymn. I'm pretty sure it's so.
DANIEL
And I can speak as a parent, to your point, Maddie, when you see your children walk in the ways of the Lord, do things not just that indicate like, okay, their heart is set on the Lord. There is, that is, that's it. Yeah. There's nothing greater than that feeling. So, thank you Aaron and Maddie for being on the BeLED Family Podcast. Thank you for being talking about church community. And, prayers are with you guys wherever the Lord is going to take you or wherever that place is. And you know that at least my boys and I will be watching your husband play hockey because we love hockey in our home and appreciate your guys' time. And more than that, I appreciate your heart for the Lord. And hopefully somebody finds encouragement from this.
AARON
Yeah. Thanks so much for having us on Daniel.
MADDIE
Yeah. Thank you so much.
DANIEL
Thank you for listening to this week's BeLED Family Podcast episode. We appreciate you taking the time to tune in. Help us by sharing this podcast with your friends. Support the BeLED Podcast and BeLED Family by visiting us at our website: beledfamily.com and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Until the next episode, BeLED in all that you do.
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